Updated: Oct 19, 2018
For self growth, you need to make a shift from automatic conditioned behavior that has developed for survival, fitting in, getting validation and achieving success. The keywords are "automatic" and "conditioned". The outcomes are good and often necessary, but a truly effective way of getting there is enhanced by creative, flexible, and authentic new behaviors.
You can use the indirect ways of meditation, processing, and letting go. You can also use the direct ways of self observation, realization, reorganization, and stabilization.
To change and improve means being present and open with the greatest possible awareness and resourcefulness. I believe a core collection of indirect ways support the direct ways available to you.
Self observation occurs when you are the observer. It is foundational to your change. It is powerful because it requires disidentification. It is powerful because it implies a choice. It is particularly useful when you focus on a behavior you want to change or cultivate. It separates you from your reaction to things and opens the possibility of seeing that you are making one choice and that many others are available.
Realization provides a simultaneous awareness of what you are doing, that you have a choice, and that there are multiple directions you can go in. It is more than just an observation, it is a sense of possibility.
Reorganization occurs when you choose a new direction or pattern. In the beginning, this may feel awkward, unfamiliar, or even produce anxiety. Not only is it something new internally, in your mind-body, but there are external changes that usually occur with others as well.
Stabilization occurs when you live with the reorganization enough that you don't have to think about or work on the new patterns. Giving full attention to what you have observed and reorganized allows you to shift into the new self that you are.